But I was particularly curious about the line in your letter that refers to his having cheated on you and how that has resulted in the birth of the child that now apparently prevents him from being with you.
You ask me if you should live in hope of resurrecting what you had with this man or walk away. I get the sense from your letter that you may be trying to show him in a very positive light but actually, you feel angry and betrayed by his decision to stay with his long-term partner and baby. But an apparent and sudden change of mind has broken your heart. You and this man both had long-term partners and a chance meeting clearly led to earth-shattering excitement and what seemed like an emerging relationship. Yes, sex and relationships are complicated sometimes aren’t they? I’m not surprised you’re confused and very upset by what’s happened. Do you think I am best walking away or sticking by the man I love? I just feel that if I do try and stick by his side I will always resent the baby because it will be from the night he cheated on me.Īnd in the meantime, my ex is begging me to go back to him. I’m thinking about holding out in case we can have the future together we always wanted. I’ve never felt so upset and hurt but I still love him. So our plans to move in together have come to nothing and I just can’t see him having much time for me in the future. He is a good father and insists he wants to stick by her and support their child and baby, which, of course, I respect him for. He begged her to have an abortion and says that he even told her he was gay, but she is insisting on having the baby. Then bang, just two days before Christmas, he messaged me to say his ex was five weeks’ pregnant - they’d had break up sex on the very same night he finished with her. I moved into a new house and he drove down to visit each weekend. My work contract ended and I moved back to my hometown just before Christmas. So I ended my four-year relationship and a few days later, he told his partner he wanted to break up, but he that would stay in the family home for the sake of their teenage son. This new man in my life made me incredibly happy. He was very keen for us to leave our respective partners so we could move in together and start a new life as a couple. The relationship blossomed and eventually, we were spending entire weekends together, with him telling his family he was working away. He also promised me he was no longer having sex with his partner. He didn’t like to think I was sleeping with my partner though, sometimes being quite possessive even if I were to look at another guy on the street. His commitment to me seemed very strong and over the weeks, our love towards each other grew. I was also in a four-year relationship, so was being unfaithful too. However, he is living with his partner of fifteen years and their twelve-year-old child. Within minutes of our rendezvous, he messaged me to say how fantastic the sex was and that he wanted to see me again. He said he was straight though, and that he had never been with a guy before, apart from messing around in his teens and was just curious. I am thirty-nine and can honestly say it was the best sex I’ve ever had.
Four months ago, while working away from home on a contract, I hooked up with a guy on a dating site.